OK so this month I had a little scare. As it turns out, I am not pregnant. But when I thought that I was, I had a lot of different feelings about it. I was so worried about where we would put another baby. I wasn't sure if I could handle taking care of two kids at a time. I was upset about the weight I would gain. I was scared of going through the same pregnancy I had with Liberty. I was scared that I would rip out of my scar from the C-section I had with Liberty. And my husband definitely makes it worse. He teases me. He thinks it's funny when I over think things.
I was scared to death of getting pregnant before but when I got pregnant with Liberty, everything changed. I didn't enjoy the pregnancy. That was definitely one of the worst times of my life but I never regretted it. I was excited to be a mommy. I should be excited about having another one. Everyone keeps telling me Liberty needs a little brother or sister. If I do have more kids I would like them to be close in age like my brothers and sisters were. Part of me says I am completely done and I'm never having another one. But then apart of me wants to have a bigger family.
I think when it all comes down to it, I don't want to try and get pregnant...but I don't wanna get fixed either. I guess we'll just have to wait and see. If it happens, it happens.
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