I hate waiting for bad news. It's far worse when the news is bad, when you know it's coming and you know there is nothing you can do to change it, stop it, delay it. For five days, I checked my email more in 12 hours then I would have all week. I have ran to my phone every time it rang. Checked every message, every text immediately. Just waiting for the news to come in. It was only when my friends came over, only when I had begun to relax, only when I had smiled for the first time all weekend did that message come... My great grandma had passed. She was gone.
A lot of people look at me weird and think I’m joking when I talk about my great grandmother. Apparently it's very rare for them to still be alive. None of my friends ever got the chance to meet theirs, but for me and my family, she was a big part of our lives. I announced my engagement and one of my pregnancies in her home. I introduced both of my children to her and they spent several mornings playing on her floor while the adults ate breakfast and talked about life. I always loved our talks. We would talk about everything from school to kids to work to God. She has dozens of grand children and I was always amazed that she would remember exactly what we had talked about even if months had passed. We would just pick up where we had left off and update each other on how our lives were.
When I got the call that she was getting ready to leave us. I was really surprised at how much it got to me. I knew I would be sad to see her go but I really thought I would be a lot more accepting. I wanted to be happy for her. She had a long, beautiful life. She was ready to go and she wanted to be with Jesus. For the last year or so, every time I left Grandma’s I would say “I'll see you in a couple months grandma” and she would always reply “We’ll see”
Her funeral was wonderful. I really love the pastor at my grandparent’s church and I thought he did a wonderful job. I kept my cool through most of the ceremony but I lost it when they brought her out to be buried with grandpa. It was a big cry. The biggest for a long time. I think her death has effected me more than any other. It’s selfish, I know. She is happy and at peace and I’m blubbering like a baby about how much I miss her and how I want to hug her one last time. Visiting Great Grandma was always the last thing I did before the long drive home from my grandparents and I still don’t know how I’ll be able to leave their house without turning back towards hers first.
My grandmother left with over 100 descendants. Most of whom were able to attend and say their goodbyes. There were so many of us, we overflowed the churched. It felt pretty powerful and wonderful to be surrounded by so much love, so much family.
After the funeral, Liberty took the ceremony program from me and told me she wanted to keep it so she would always remember her. I cried again.
My great grandmother was loving, nurturing, supportive and in everyway the woman/mother/grandmother I want to be. I had 29 years with my great grandmother. Her name was Melvina and she was an amazing blessing in my life that I will forever treasure and be thankful for.
